Dudley Do-Right Escorts an Old Train

Prompt - Murder on the Train (500 words): Imagine you are on a train or at a train station when a murder takes place. Expand upon this scenario by writing a story of 500 words or fewer. Use the title of your story to maximum effect. Can it infer backstory, help characterization, or lead us directly to the action?

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   Constable Dudley Dougal stood next to an 1880s-era train car, nodding to each passenger as they climbed aboard. Jesus… an RCMP officer named Dudley.  He’d taken the ribbing at the academy and tried to laugh off the photoshopped images of him sitting a horse backward. He couldn’t believe his first ceremonial duty was to escort an old train across Alberta. The railfans petitioned the RCMP for a Mountie to lend authenticity, and Dudley had been selected as his dad had worked the railroads for 43 years, and he’d chosen to wear the red serge to make the train nutters happy, even if it wasn’t authentic.  Bored, Dudley glanced around. Ahead of the passenger car was the dining car, then a coal car. The black-painted engine was enormous.

    He knew there were train experts aboard, but the engineer seemed less . . . experienced than usual. He had a surprisingly long full beard and kept tugging it and singing a train whistle “Woo-woo!” in time with the pulls.  Dudley sighed.  We’re going to be a good four hours late to Jasper. At least the fireman seemed knowledgeable.

    “Mom!  It’s Dudley Do-Right!”   

    Dudley closed his eyes for a moment, then smiled at the mother and son.  

    “Constable Dougal?” The mom asked, brandishing her phone questioningly.  He nodded and posed for a selfie with them. He heard the the engineer and the fireman arguing, and revised his estimate.  Five hours.  He texted his wife Nell that he’d return home tomorrow. 

    After the last passenger boarded, he went to the engine and climbed up, interrupting the bickering fireman and engineer. The firebox door stood open, and glowing red light spilled out; the fireman had spent hours gradually bringing the temperature up. Unfortunately, the engineer had little self-restraint, fiddling with valves at random.   

    The fireman flinched, snapping, “Stop fucking around!  I promised you could drive, but only if you did what I told you!” He glanced sideways at Dudley before muttering, “…and I called in favors for this.” 

    Six hours. “Ready?” Dudley asked.  He ignored the sullen engineer, and waited until the fireman nodded before returning to the passenger car.  He took his seat and gestured to the conductor who enthusiastically sing-songed, “Aaalll aboooard!”  The train began to move, and everyone cheered, almost drowning the shouting up front.   

    Mercifully, the arguing eventually died off, and Dudley was able to relax into the clacking rhythm of the train. Pork chop scent wafted back from the dining car, making him hungry, so he started in on his packed lunch.  The passengers detected the smell, too, and the selfie boy made his way to the dining car, only to come back shaking his head.  “They just have boxed lunches. Choice of cheese or chicken salad.”

    Almost on cue, the stench of burning hair hit, and everyone recoiled. Dudley dropped his lunch, shot to his feet, and sprinted toward to the front, radioing for backup.  

    It wasn’t such a boring assignment after all, but he was never going to live this down.

--March 8, 2020

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